09 February, 2012

Super Kush Botanical Potpourri Review: Harshin' My Mello!



“Dude.
Dude?
Dude!  Yer harshin’ my mellow, man. 
Dude! Aw dude! I’m gonna hurl!”

That was the conversation I had with my toilet last night after a rather painful session with Super Kush.  Don’t get this name twisted with the actual Super Kush: 2 time winner of the High Times Cannabis Cup.  That stuff is illegal and I don’t smoke illegal drugs.  Ya hear that kids? Stay in school and stay off drugs.
No, this Super Kush is the “botanical potpourri” that’s used as incense or to smoke like real weed and get your mellow on. 

Now your first question might be: “Why buy this crap when you can score a quality bag of the real stuff just as easily?”  My answer: “Shut it!”

I’ve been a naysayer of this product for a while now but every time I’m in my local head shop buying my loose rolling tobacco (no, really, I go there for the Norwegian Shag…really) I’m always waiting behind someone buying all sorts of legal weeds, I mean botanical potpourri.  So I figured I’d give it a try.  Why not?  I’ve been known to do some pretty dumb things in my day and just because I’m getting older doesn’t mean I should stop doing dumb things.  Right? 

So I get it home, fire it up and get some synthetic high that I can only imagine is kinda like what smoking illegal cannabis would be like.  If I ever smoked illegal drugs, that is.
I remember waking up a bit groggy in the morning and feeling like I was huffing spray paint the night before.  Not like I know what that's like, I’m just saying that for creative expression.  Ya know?

Day two I get home and remember that I have this Super Kush and decide to take a small hit but not to smoke any before bed so as to not wake up and feel like I was huffing spray paint.  Good call.  The learning curve is shaping up nicely with this botanical potpourri.

“Dude.
 Dude?
 Dude!  Yer harshin’ my mellow, man. 
 Dude! Aw dude! I’m gonna hurl!”

The next hour was spent in the bathroom clutching my toilet and violently yarfing up whatever my system could find to throw out of me.  We’re talking a serious reaction to some potent toxin.  It was chunderdome and I was pitted against the porcelain.  Odds were not in my favor but I did think I could have ripped that toilet out of the floor I was grappling with it so hard. 
This was not just a case of my body rejecting a substance and throwing it up.  No, this was a 9 round fight and I couldn’t sit in any position other then on my knees clutching this damn toilet.  Any other movement sent the world into hurling spins.  After a pillow was thrown down for me I just laid in the fetal position in my bathroom as all the color flushed from my face and I prayed for a quick and painless death. 
Another hour or 2 would pass before I was able to feel normal again. Jaysus! What just happened to me?  
Too bad, really.  The buzz was kinda interesting while it lasted.  There was a serious downside though.  
But hey, at least I didn't wake up this morning with silver lips. 


4 comments:

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