22 October, 2010

I'm So About Yelp!

I've been tossing up reviews on Yelp for the past few weeks now and have been perusing the forums.  Why?  Well, it's one of the few websighte that my employer has not blocked yet.  But as far as finding a review on something Yelp has been pretty reliable.  Except for my reviews.  They all suck.

09 July, 2010


Rioters take the the streets of Oakland. 

ATTENTION!  Rioters of Oakland.  Stop your destructive ways or we will shoot you in the face.

I repeat.  Stop your destructive ways, return to your homes or the Oakland City Police will shoot you in the face.

Only kidding.  But we will taser you in the face.

30 June, 2010

Fed Invents Most Accurate Clock in the World

Federal News Radio

If you are a sticker for time then your in luck.

A young scientist at NIST has invented the world's most precise clock. It's based on quantum computing research and made out of aluminum.
Till Rosenband is a physicist in NIST's Time and Frequency Division.

He has also been nominate for a Service to America (Sammies) medal, which are awards that are given out annually by the Partnership for Public Service that honor the exceptional work of federal employees.

He explains that the current, standard model is made out of cesium.

"So, to give you an idea, if these things could run for billions of years, they would lose one second in about three billion years. . . . That's about 30 times better than the cesium clock."

Yes, he did say billions.

The project, in essence, is not new, either. Rosenband credits his boss with a lot of the ideas for this new clock, and says many scientists have been working on how to develop a new, more accurate one for about the past 30 years.
"All these ideas have been coming together, and I just feel lucky that I could take a lot of the new developments and put them together in the lab and build this really accurate clock."

Now that the project has been successful, he says there are all sorts of applications for it. His office, for instance, can measure the shape of the earth more accurately which, in turn, means technologies like radar could potentially benefit.
"As your continental plate rises or falls a little bit due to geophysics, this will shift the rate of your clock slightly. So, with a more accurate clock, you could really make new kinds of measurements. In the future, there may be new navigation applications and things like that."

Though it might seem complicated to most people, Rosenband says the relationship between time and physics is actually pretty simple if you think about it long enough.
"Time sort of drives everything in life and in nature. Everything changes with time, and so you can use these changes to see how time was running -- and that's basically what a clock does. It's one of the most basic quantities in nature, and physics is really operating at that level. Physical laws all deal with time."
Speaking of time, Rosenband admits he is young for his accomplishments. At 31 years old, he explains that federal service just seemed natural to him.

"I think in science, in particular, if you're not working for the government directly, you're probably working at a university that gets a lot of government funding. I think the government really has kind of the long term view that science has -- that it is a long-term investment that the government should be making just to make our lives better. There is so much technology and so many new inventions and they require this kind of long term investment. . . . If you just wanted to deliver profits every quarter, you probably wouldn't be working on this, but if you want precise navigation 20 years down the road, then this is the kind of project you would be working on."

That's great!.  But I'll still be late for work.

25 May, 2010

I Was Told There Would be Cake at This Job.

I walked into the break room this morning to find a large white bakery box sitting on the center table. There was nothing in the break room but me at a large rectangular white bakery box. It was taped closed in 6 different places so I could not sneak a peek to see what may be in store for me later in the day.
A few people came into the break room to see me dancing around the table like one of those experiments where a scientist introduces a new and foreign object to a group of chimps. I was trying to see how this could be opened, how I could use it to my advantage, if it would have tasty snacks inside.

Until this box is opened I will be hovering around the break room periodically throughout the day to see if it has been opened yet.

And when it finally is?...MWUAHAHAHA!!!

Update! There is a Giant bag full of paper plates and napkins next to the box now.
The day is already looking up!

26 April, 2010

Universal Truths


 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of   my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

23 March, 2010

Google Sets Up Quemoy-Matsu Battle for Cyber WWIII

China Accuses Google of Violating Promises

Google and China are at it again.

A few months ago Google pulled its search engine operations out of China in retaliation to high level cyber hacking that Google claims could only be the work of the Chinese government. The Chinese government claims that it had no involvement in the cyber espionage but did not go so far as to search out the culprits. The Chinese government stated that Google had broken its written contract with the government and had ceased its censorship of certain material on its Chinese search engine.

Now Google is back in China but they have set up shop in Hong Kong which allows for looser control of business and capital. Both sides know what is about to happen next: Google will continue to allow uncensored searches to Google.cn and the Chinese government, or several unnamed hackers, will continue to force its way in and disrupt Google’s operations.

On one side I can’t see how the Chinese government intends to allow even the slightest use of the internet without expecting a flood of citizen organization and sharing of knowledge and ideas. And on the other hand I can’t see how Google would be allowed to operate in the country if it had broken such a sensitive rule in their contract.

People are people and will congregate and organize. And business is business where a breach of contract can lead to serious consequences.
If we start to see large ships anchored off the coast of  Quemoy and Matsu
with the Google logo on the side ya might wanna start stocking up on the canned goods and dig the bomb shelter a bit deeper. We’re in for a long cyber cold war.

24 February, 2010

Potholes! Potholes Everywhere!!

Man, I'll tell you what.  I'm already tired of these Monday-Friday potholes in this Monday-Friday town!
With all the snow and snow plowing from the storm of the century (of the month) Baltimore streets have been left looking like the surface of the moon. 
Potholes everywhere. 
When we had walls of snow on the streets we had to manuver carefully because the streets were so narrow and side-swiping someone was possible.  Now when we drive we're swerving all over the place because of the crater slolem that we play on our daily commute.  Someone's gonna get smashed by someone else who's trying to dodge the upcoming potholes in the street.

Last week my commute took me up out of Hampden up Roland Ave and it was pretty nasty.  This week I've been deployed to Essex and my eastwardly evacuation is much longer with potholes everywhere. And I mean  er'war!

Ironic?  My only smooth sailing is down Erdman Ave. because it was recently repaved last year.  What used to be one of the worst spots on my drive is now smooth sailing.  But the rest of the way is like playing Moon Patrol. 

Watch out if your driving eastbound on 33rd between Guilford and Barclay.  There's a T-shaped canyon that takes up nearly 2 lanes.  I found that out the hard way.

Where else are you seeing massive pock marks in the city? 
  • Clifton Park cut through at 33rd and Harford has always been bad but now it's worse. 
  • The Avenue eastbound in Hampden has a deep one right before you get to Cafe Hon.  Ouch.
Hold on to the wheel. folks.  Baltimore's in for a bumpy ride. 
I can just hear the city now.  Throwing a fit come springtime over all the potholes. 
Where's our Fed. disaster relief $$?  Hope we get it in time to dump that cash into those holes.  And why not?  Aren't we just gonna dump it into some black hole anyway?

10 February, 2010

Snowed In In Hampden


This is my car under the snow of last night.  I was driving it just last night.

Not going anywhere for a while?  Naw,  me neither.  Good thing there are 5 bars still withing walking distance.  I think I'll take advantage of the 1/2 price drafts at 13.5% today.  

This was our back yard at the 22" mark on Saturday.  Good thing I don't have to shovel out my yard.  BUt having a full city block yard does have its disadvantages.  I have 2 sidewalks to shovel out.  

This was last Saturday on Roland Ave. while one of the news crews was talking to some of Hampden's finest. 

I wonder if this was a photo op?   We got out of 13.5% to see the mayor at the 7-11 on Falls and 36th talking to camera crews.  3 city plow trucks past by her while they were filming.  OK, so trucks are out and working.  So why didn't any of them drop their plow and plow out the Avenue?  


Random car on Chestnut St. Sat night.  Maybe it's a van.  Who knows?  We'll find out in the spring thaw.

08 February, 2010

Hey David Horrowitz!

Hey, David Horowitz!
What kind of cowardly twat picks a fight with a man in his own obituary?
Just that act alone would discredit any opinion or research by the jackass just on account that I think he's a dick!

Mr.�NOAM CHOMSKY (Former Professor, Massachusetts Institute of Technology): He studied what he called the countless small actions of unknown people that lead to the great moments that enter the historical record. That's a shift in perspective and understanding which is quite profound and quite significant.

Mr.�DAVID HOROWITZ (Author): There is absolutely nothing in Howard Zinn's intellectual output that is worthy of any kind of respect.

KEYES: Conservative pundit and author David Horowitz is among critics who fiercely disagree with Zinn's politics. Horowitz calls "A People's History of the United States" a travesty.

Mr.�HOROWITZ: Zinn represents a fringe mentality which has unfortunately seduced millions of people at this point in time. So he did certainly alter the consciousness of millions of younger people for the worse.

KEYES: But Zinn's supporters say the former Boston University professor has a powerful legacy, and Zinn himself told the online think tank bigthink.com in 2008:

Mr.�ZINN: I want to be remembered as somebody who gave people a feeling of hope and power they didn't have before.

KEYES: Howard Zinn died yesterday of a heart attack. He was 87 years old. Allison Keyes, NPR News.

18 January, 2010

In Honor of Dr. King. All of Them.

In honor of Dr King on this day of his I thought I would extend the honor to all Dr. Kings in the world. 
A quick google check shows that we have a skilled and honorable Dr. King in our fair charmed city.

In Honor of Dr. King in this day

Dr. Yao-king Hsu, or better known to his patients as "Dr. King",  practices Obstetrics & Gynecology in Baltimore, Maryland.
Address & Contact Information:
200 East 33rd Street Suite 466
Baltimore, MD, 21218

Obstetrics & Gynecology

Here's to you Dr. King for keeping the dream alive and our ladies clean and helthy.

16 January, 2010

Florida QB Tim Tebow Should Have Been Aborted.


University of Florida quarterback and Lou Holtz wannabe pep talk yakkin', td rushing champ and all around #1 son should have been an aborted fetus that may have killed his mother in child birth. But moms ignored the request of pleading doctors and soldiered on to give birth to the best gol-darned ath-a-lete a mother could ever wish for. Hoo-rah!

Check out the Super Bowl commercial about Tebow and mamma Tebow and their anti-abortion implied life sponsored by Focus on teh Family right-ta-lifers. Awesome.

04 January, 2010

Spam Blogger Compliment...Uh...thanks?

"Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!"


I recently received this comment on an old post (that was neither creative nor original).
It would not have been so big of a deal if I hadn't read the same exact comment on another blogger's post yesterday.  Funny thing is this...ya ready?  The comment on the unrelated post was left right after a comment that I had left months ago. 

Is there a corrolation in this spammer's pattern?  Am I harboring some stupid blogger spam queen bee?  Spitting out baby spam comments in the blog-y-comb?  We're making blog-honey in here. Not so much.

Yea, whatever...
Has anyone else gotten these spammer geurilla kudos?