“Dude.
Dude?
Dude! Yer harshin’ my
mellow, man.
Dude! Aw dude! I’m gonna hurl!”
That was the conversation I had with my toilet last night
after a rather painful session with Super Kush.
Don’t get this name twisted with the actual Super Kush: 2 time winner of the High
Times Cannabis Cup. That stuff is illegal
and I don’t smoke illegal drugs. Ya hear
that kids? Stay in school and stay off drugs.
No, this Super Kush is the “botanical potpourri” that’s used
as incense or to smoke like real weed and get your mellow on.
Now your first question might be: “Why buy this crap when
you can score a quality bag of the real stuff just as easily?” My answer: “Shut it!”
I’ve been a naysayer of this product for a while now but
every time I’m in my local head shop buying my loose rolling tobacco (no,
really, I go there for the Norwegian Shag…really) I’m always waiting behind
someone buying all sorts of legal weeds, I mean botanical potpourri. So I figured I’d give it a try. Why not?
I’ve been known to do some pretty dumb things in my day and just because
I’m getting older doesn’t mean I should stop doing dumb things. Right?
So I get it home, fire it up and get some synthetic high
that I can only imagine is kinda like what smoking illegal cannabis would be
like. If I ever smoked illegal drugs,
that is.
I remember waking up a bit groggy in the morning and feeling
like I was huffing spray paint the night before.
Not like I know what that's like, I’m just saying that for
creative expression. Ya know?
Day two I get home and remember that I have this Super Kush
and decide to take a small hit but not to smoke any before bed so as to not
wake up and feel like I was huffing spray paint.
Good call. The learning curve is
shaping up nicely with this botanical potpourri.
“Dude.
Dude?
Dude! Yer harshin’ my
mellow, man.
Dude! Aw dude! I’m gonna hurl!”
The next hour was spent in the bathroom clutching my toilet
and violently yarfing up whatever my system could find to throw out of me. We’re talking a serious reaction to some
potent toxin. It was chunderdome and I was
pitted against the porcelain. Odds were
not in my favor but I did think I could have ripped that toilet out of the
floor I was grappling with it so hard.
This was not just a case of my body rejecting a substance
and throwing it up. No, this was a 9
round fight and I couldn’t sit in any position other then on my knees clutching
this damn toilet. Any other movement
sent the world into hurling spins. After
a pillow was thrown down for me I just laid in the fetal position in my
bathroom as all the color flushed from my face and I prayed for a quick and
painless death.
Another hour or 2 would pass before I was able to feel
normal again. Jaysus! What just happened to me?
Too bad, really. The buzz was kinda interesting while it lasted. There was a serious downside though.
But hey, at least I didn't wake up this morning with silver lips.
