When Potato Salad Goes Bad or Tater's Law

The Daily Breather is no mathematician but one would think that the basic laws of probability should be pretty equal across the board.  This can easily be tested with the probability of flipping a coin or the probability of rolling snake eyes on a pair of dice. Both of these are just as boring as the math itself.  Where’s the risk? Where’s the reward? Where’s the potato salad?  More importantly, where is the good potato salad? 

You too might be asking yourself this very same question when you come upon a poorly planned banquet table from time to time.  What makes it poorly planned?  Well, four different people brought a pan of potato salad. Now that’s some poor planning if you ask me.  It’s not a total loss though because I love a good potato salad.  Conversely, I got no time or patience for poorly prepared potato salad (It’s times like these that I wish I could find a synonym for salad that begins with P). 

Enter the law of probability.  Of the four pans of potato salad what are the chances that I’ll choose the one that tastes like ass?  You would think my chances are 1 in 4 right?  Well, I’m here to tell you that potato salad is the great negater in said law.  Now it might just be poor choices that I’ve made throughout my life (in choosing potato salad that is) but I believe that I am on the losing side of probability when choosing a choice potato salad when more than three options are set before me. 

How can I overcome this?  I don’t want to be that guy who has to give each potato salad the sniff test.  That doesn’t look right. And I shouldn’t take four helpings of potato salad and try them all, although, I believe four servings is the USDA recommended amount of potato salad that each American should be consuming.  That might be outdated data though. That was info taken from a 5^th grade science fair project I did.  It’s probably higher now.

Until I can find the perfect way to identify the proper potato salad I’ll be that guy sitting in a folding chair with a plate of food on my lap making a sour milk face.  Who brought this horrible potato salad? 

AMERICAN WOMEN

Just thought I'd pop in here to post a link to a much better blogger than myself. 
I've gone through some peaks and valleys of life and no matter how smart I think I am I'm always reminded of just how dumb the Breather is when is comes to women folk.  And to make matters worse I feel even dumber when I feel I can act in her best interest instead of just stopping and listening to what her interests are in the first place.  And yes, I feel even even dumber when she tells me that her interests are so much simpler than I thought.  Why am I so dumb?
That's a rhetorical question. No need for answer.  I probably won't listen to it anyway.

So, in honor of International Women's Day I'd like to stop talking for a minute and listen to someone who just might have a better idea of what women's interests actually are.  And no, that person is not me as much as I do love to hear myself talk.

I hope you enjoy this blog as much as I do. 

say what? Fairly well-thought out ravings on anything I deem interesting.American Women.

  

Happy Leap Day: To "All Yearning Females"

 

Happy Leap Day!

You can do anything today because nothing matters on Leap Day!  

Man can bite dog. Jet packs can be had by all. 

Donuts can rain from the sky today (Mmmm...donuts)

even women folk can propose to men on this day (because nothing really matters)

It's Leap Day and on this day traditionally, women can propose to men. 

It was considered that as the day also had no legal status, it was reasonable to assume that tradition had no status, so women took advantage of this and proposed to the man they wanted to marry.

A 2 minute Google search gives us this history of Leap Day:

This tradition goes back to an old Irish legend concerning St. Patrick and St. Bridget in the 5th Century.  You know St. Bridget. She runs the catholic church in Canton that was used as the southeast district precinct in the Wire.  Ya know? Where the had the wire up on Frank Sobatka?

Anyway, St. Bridget petitioned St. Patrick on behalf of all yearning females in that they have a more active role in choosing their husbands. As a result of this request, women were allowed to propose to men once every four years. 

So there ya have it.  Thank you Google and thank you St. Bridget.  

Happy Leap Day everybody!

 

 

Santorum Pleads to DHS: Increase the Suck Protection!

Increase the Suck Protection!
Published February 16, 2012

Republican presidential contender Rick Santorum's campaign wrote a letter to the Department of Homeland Security Wednesday requesting Secret Service protection, Fox News confirms.

Santorum sought protection following a rowdy rally in Washington state earlier in the week.

Santorum says it's "a sad state of affairs" that suck protection is necessary, especially after he spent several weeks campaigning in a supporter's pickup truck. However, he said the protection would be for his family's sake.

Santorum hosted an outdoor rally adjacent to the campsite of Tacoma, Wash., Occupy protesters Monday night. They chanted and yelled during most of the event. Two protesters were dragged away by police.

Reflecting on the experience after another campaign stop Tuesday night, Santorum says it's unfortunate that some people "can get a little rowdy and sometimes a little violent."

Currently, the only GOP contender with Secret Service protection is Mitt Romney.

HA!  I had to get on the lulz before Faux News came in and corrected their Santorum sized gaffe.

Super Kush Botanical Potpourri Review: Harshin' My Mello!

“Dude.

Dude?

Dude!  Yer harshin’ my mellow, man. 

Dude! Aw dude! I’m gonna hurl!”

That was the conversation I had with my toilet last night after a rather painful session with Super Kush.  Don’t get this name twisted with the actual Super Kush: 2 time winner of the High Times Cannabis Cup.  That stuff is illegal and I don’t smoke illegal drugs.  Ya hear that kids? Stay in school and stay off drugs.

No, this Super Kush is the “botanical potpourri” that’s used as incense or to smoke like real weed and get your mellow on. 

Now your first question might be: “Why buy this crap when you can score a quality bag of the real stuff just as easily?”  My answer: “Shut it!”

I’ve been a naysayer of this product for a while now but every time I’m in my local head shop buying my loose rolling tobacco (no, really, I go there for the Norwegian Shag…really) I’m always waiting behind someone buying all sorts of legal weeds, I mean botanical potpourri.  So I figured I’d give it a try.  Why not?  I’ve been known to do some pretty dumb things in my day and just because I’m getting older doesn’t mean I should stop doing dumb things.  Right? 

So I get it home, fire it up and get some synthetic high that I can only imagine is kinda like what smoking illegal cannabis would be like.  If I ever smoked illegal drugs, that is.

I remember waking up a bit groggy in the morning and feeling like I was huffing spray paint the night before.  Not like I know what that's like, I’m just saying that for creative expression.  Ya know?

Day two I get home and remember that I have this Super Kush and decide to take a small hit but not to smoke any before bed so as to not wake up and feel like I was huffing spray paint.  Good call.  The learning curve is shaping up nicely with this botanical potpourri.

“Dude.

 Dude?

 Dude!  Yer harshin’ my mellow, man. 

 Dude! Aw dude! I’m gonna hurl!”

The next hour was spent in the bathroom clutching my toilet and violently yarfing up whatever my system could find to throw out of me.  We’re talking a serious reaction to some potent toxin.  It was chunderdome and I was pitted against the porcelain.  Odds were not in my favor but I did think I could have ripped that toilet out of the floor I was grappling with it so hard. 

This was not just a case of my body rejecting a substance and throwing it up.  No, this was a 9 round fight and I couldn’t sit in any position other then on my knees clutching this damn toilet.  Any other movement sent the world into hurling spins.  After a pillow was thrown down for me I just laid in the fetal position in my bathroom as all the color flushed from my face and I prayed for a quick and painless death. 

Another hour or 2 would pass before I was able to feel normal again. Jaysus! What just happened to me?  

Too bad, really.  The buzz was kinda interesting while it lasted.  There was a serious downside though.  

But hey, at least I didn't wake up this morning with silver lips. 

Movember Day 14: Ned Flanders Porn Stach

Man, this month is getting ugly.  At least this is for a good cause because the brostache is starting to take on a life of its own.  I'm not sure just how much longer I will be able to control it.  Not only is it making it harder for me to smooch pretty ladies but it is also making me feel like I want to fix things around the house.  Other times it makes me feel like that cop who pulls you over and searches your car just to be a dick. And to make matters even worse it's coming in ginger!  Who knows what evil it has in store for mankind.
Please help me.  Donate to the Movember mustache fund before it's too late.  
So far my team has raised nearly $1,500 for Livestrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation.  Go team Bohvember!  You too can help out.  Just g'head and click on the link below to make a simple donation today.  Please!  Help me feed the mustache.  I'm not sure how much longer I can control it. 
Mobro-Jamie Schott
Big thanks to those who have already contributed.  Your donation means a lot and if the stache does decide to attack then you will probably be spared.  I can't make any promises though.

Cheers

Jamie

Support the Stache! Donate to Movember Today

Aw man!  Day 9 and the pedo bear mustache is growing in like like a facial weed. 
Here's a glimpse of Day 6.
Sorry, I have a rare gene that's passed on the x chromosome in my family  that prevents me from taking a normal picture.  I always look like a jackass.  Now I'm a jackass with a snazzy mustache coming in.

So hey!  If you haven't done it yet  please consider making a small donation to the Movember Foundation.  Proceeds benefit  Livestrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation.

The Movember Foundation uses the money raised to fund two programs: an awareness and education program that significantly increases the understanding and reduces the stigmas of the health risks that men face, and Movember’s Global Action Plan that accelerates key outcomes in prostate cancer research by facilitating global research collaboration projects.

Here's how you can support this particular brostache and help me live with the fact that I'm looking more and more like a child molester for every day that I have this porn-stache growing under my schnoz. 
Mobro- Jamie Schott

Hon is Free for You and Me!

Hey Hon!  Have ya heard?  Hon is a free word again!  Woopie!  We can say Hon as much as we want and not have to worry about weather or not we're making a mockery of the Hon lady. 
So word on the street is that Gordon Ramsey brought his cameras to Cafe Hon for a PR blitz.  No? He was filming a tv show?  Oh.  Maybe that happened too.  The only time I passed by was late at night and all the windows were blacked out in the cafe and there was what looked like a tv producer's lackey standing out front with a wire in his ear like he was the lookout guy.  Add some black Escalades and you'd think Sheila Dixon was up in there. 
     So what happened?  Was there an episode being made?  Was her kitchen a nightmare?  No, Whiting was the nightmare.  In fact Ramsey went on the praise the loyal staff and only made minor tweaks to the menu and actually admired many of the comfort foods even if they had become a bit stale.
Was this all a PR stunt?  Meh. Probably.  Whatever it was it needed to happen and I, for one, am glad that somebody stepped in to talk some sense into this whole matter.
     Sure, it was easy to hate on Whiting for trademarking our Hon.  And it was easy for her to detract the protesters and naysayers and tell the world that they just don't understand what she is trying to do. She was trying to save Hon but just went about it the wrong way.  It's too bad that she saw a 25% drop in her business over the last year and too bad that she didn't realize sooner that this really does matter to us.  Nobody owns Hon.  Now everybody owns Hon again and we know it. 
     What started out as controversy may end in a stronger and more celebrated Hon. A Hon that we will protect and cherish. I think that is what Whiting wanted all along but her business practices may have sent this in the wrong direction.  
     Ya know, folks.  It takes courage to tell the world that you are sorry and that you are responsible for the problems that have been caused.  It also takes courage to relinquish the vision which you worked so hard to make good and to realize that you were hurting people when all you really wanted to do was help them.
     When Denise Whiting gave up the trademark for Hon she took that courageous step in apologizing to Baltimore and as good people in this fine city when someone apologizes we forgive them.  


      

Movember Day 7: Dear Gawd! It's Fuzzy

Well today started off on the right foot. I was waiting at the bus stop on Eastern and Dundalk Ave. and listening to the local eastbound Raven's fans heckling the westbound Steeler fans at the bus stop.  Lotta people have an extra pep in their step on the day after a win over the Steelers.  I'm sure a few folks in the Pitts have a case of the Mondays today.
But back to matters at hand.  It's Day 7 of Movember and this here brostache is taking shape.  The good the bad and the ugly is all coming together here.
The Good: Raising awareness of men's health issues and raising money to help fight prostate and testicular cancer.
The Bad: I now have to pucker my lips extra tight so that I don't scrape and stache on Opti's kisser.  She's making me smooch her delicately as to not scrape too much manliness on her.  She's still not diggin the whiskers.
The Ugly: Dude. I'm growing a mustache.  'Nuff said.

I know by the end of this I'll have a full Ron Burgundy rockin out right under my nose.

Movember: Day 4. She's Not Diggin' the Idea

Movember is underway and the stache is set in motion but there is one thing that I didn't think about in the planning of this: the mustache itself and what Opti will think about it.  Sure it sounded like a fun way to raise awareness in a playful kinda way but when I told her that I'm all in she had one response. NO!!!!!
She hates mustaches and can't even picture me with one.  Everything about a stache is creepy and uncomfortable to her. It's like kissing a caterpillar.  But it's for a good cause.  Manly men grow a mustache in the month of November to raise awareness of men's health issues such as prostate and testicular cancer. This is where she is tortured even more.  She can't just deny me and ask me to shave it because it's for charity.  It's for a good cause.  Consider the cajones. You like testicles, don't you? And a handsome man ass?  "Damn you!" she says.  "It's not fair! I'm gonn have to live with pedo bear for a month".  A mustache does have a certain porn star/child molester creepy feel to it. And herein lies the love/hate duality on Movember.
Ya know, when I went all in on the brostache I didn't realize the many opportunities I would have to taunt and tease Opti. Now she is looking for a support group to help cope with the trauma that a mustache may create in our world.  It's for a good cause though.  Sport the stache for nut sacks and butt cracks. 

Sportin' a Brostache For Movember

Ladies and gentleman. Bros and sistas. Movember is now upon us.
"Hey, DB, what's this Movember you speak of?"
I'm glad you asked, random second person.
Movember (a neologism that is a portmanteau of the slang word "mo" for mustache and "November") -Wikipedia
'Er, uh, thanks for nothing wiki-mush-mouth.
Movember is an annual, month-long event involving the growing of mustaches during the month of November. The event was conceived in 1999 by a group of mustached mates in Australia to raise awareness of men's health issues such as prostate and testicular cancer. The event has since scraggled it's way around the world and last year alone the US Movember stached away more than $80M for the cause.
Over here at Daily Breather central we've (I've) thrown our razor down and decided to jump on the stache-coach and ride this manly hair lip into December. DB here is not afraid to sport a flavor saver and if I can grow pubes on my face to raise awareness of cancerous nut sacks then I'm all for it.

And I'm not the only one putting my lip on the line for a donated dime. Check around your community and you may see a few more handlebars and Rollie Fingers lurking in your neighborhood. Head on over to one of my more favorite blogs and see a few posts already whisked up for Movember: The City That Breeds
This is where I first caught onto the idea and it's been growing ever since.
Need more info? Check out US Movember for Movember in the US action.
Hell, if I learn how to use that new fangled smart-ass phone of mine I might even be able to upload a progress report on the stache. There has to be a camera feature on that thing somewhere.

Mobbie Awards

So, I've noticed that many of my blogs begin with the word "so".  So what?  It's my blog and I'll so if I want to.
But yea. It's been a coon's age since I did anything with this bloggy thing but I recently stepped into the smart phone age and yesterday the Twitter age.  While on Twitter I was checking all these folks to follow and saw all these blogs that I used to read religiously back when Blogtimore was up and running.  Thanks to Twitter I can see a lot of them in one place again and my how they've grown. Some new faces too. 
Add in some good timing  and I come across a list of blogs up for Mobbie Awards.  It's like a one stop shop for hooking up all the cool Bmore blogs. 
So in alpha order (because that's how my bookmarks work) here are the blogs that I've snatched up to read when I should be doing more trivial things like work.  Curse of the drinking class. 

Beer in Baltimore- It's beer!  Hooray beer!
baltimore21201- Hey, I like culture.  And I've even been to the Meyerhoff once.  Don't you judge me.
thebaltimorechop- Dude, it's stuff that I like.  Hooray for stuff that I like.
thecoolestkidsintown- this is a new one that I'm just getting in to. 
baltimorecrime- 171 as of yesterday.
acharmedcity- another new one that I'm checking into.  Dig the pics
audaciousideas- I can only dream to be this educated and effective in my fair city. Keep it up, folks.
baltimoreisawesome- Yes it is. And I saw a post for Beer and Bacon Happy Hour at Bad Decisions. Bump!
slumlordwatch- We need this blog! Someone's gotta keep an eye on the vacants. But if you come around
                         asking me about Snoop and Chris I didn't see shit.
homelesscide- This is where life gets real.  This is a new one that I'm paying attention to. Good luck, Dave.
baltimorebrew- Don't let the name fool ya. More than just brew here. There's some fine indy journalism here
                        on some tough local issues.
mobtownshank- Been following this one for a while now. Tried and true Baltimore blog.

And there ya have it.  Good luck on the Mobbies and have a super fantastic Friday. 

Like OMG. I'm on Twitter! Now What?

I believe that I'm one of those people who, for my age and education, are the last ones to pick up on new technology.  Not only did I just dip my stinky big toe into the waters of the smart phone but just this morning I created one of those Tweeter accounts.  What?  Twitter?  Yea, that too.  So, I guess now I can twit little snippets of whatever I want.  What?  It's tweet?  Ugh.  This is why I don't take on new technology.  You will be proud of me though.  I just threw out about 25 lbs of old phone books last week.  Seems I just don't have a use for them anymore.  This here Internet and Google search thing pretty much has put phone books on the out.  What's that?  You haven't owned a phone book in years?  Hey shut up.  I'm new here.

I'm So About Yelp!

I've been tossing up reviews on Yelp for the past few weeks now and have been perusing the forums.  Why?  Well, it's one of the few websighte that my employer has not blocked yet.  But as far as finding a review on something Yelp has been pretty reliable.  Except for my reviews.  They all suck.

ATTENTION! RIOTERS OF OAKLAND!

Rioters take the the streets of Oakland. 

ATTENTION!  Rioters of Oakland.  Stop your destructive ways or we will shoot you in the face.

I repeat.  Stop your destructive ways, return to your homes or the Oakland City Police will shoot you in the face.

Only kidding.  But we will taser you in the face.

Fed Invents Most Accurate Clock in the World

Federal News Radio

If you are a sticker for time then your in luck.

A young scientist at NIST has invented the world's most precise clock. It's based on quantum computing research and made out of aluminum.
Till Rosenband is a physicist in NIST's Time and Frequency Division.

He has also been nominate for a Service to America (Sammies) medal, which are awards that are given out annually by the Partnership for Public Service that honor the exceptional work of federal employees.

He explains that the current, standard model is made out of cesium.

"So, to give you an idea, if these things could run for billions of years, they would lose one second in about three billion years. . . . That's about 30 times better than the cesium clock."

Yes, he did say billions.

The project, in essence, is not new, either. Rosenband credits his boss with a lot of the ideas for this new clock, and says many scientists have been working on how to develop a new, more accurate one for about the past 30 years.
"All these ideas have been coming together, and I just feel lucky that I could take a lot of the new developments and put them together in the lab and build this really accurate clock."

Now that the project has been successful, he says there are all sorts of applications for it. His office, for instance, can measure the shape of the earth more accurately which, in turn, means technologies like radar could potentially benefit.
"As your continental plate rises or falls a little bit due to geophysics, this will shift the rate of your clock slightly. So, with a more accurate clock, you could really make new kinds of measurements. In the future, there may be new navigation applications and things like that."

Though it might seem complicated to most people, Rosenband says the relationship between time and physics is actually pretty simple if you think about it long enough.
"Time sort of drives everything in life and in nature. Everything changes with time, and so you can use these changes to see how time was running -- and that's basically what a clock does. It's one of the most basic quantities in nature, and physics is really operating at that level. Physical laws all deal with time."
Speaking of time, Rosenband admits he is young for his accomplishments. At 31 years old, he explains that federal service just seemed natural to him.

"I think in science, in particular, if you're not working for the government directly, you're probably working at a university that gets a lot of government funding. I think the government really has kind of the long term view that science has -- that it is a long-term investment that the government should be making just to make our lives better. There is so much technology and so many new inventions and they require this kind of long term investment. . . . If you just wanted to deliver profits every quarter, you probably wouldn't be working on this, but if you want precise navigation 20 years down the road, then this is the kind of project you would be working on."


That's great!.  But I'll still be late for work.

I Was Told There Would be Cake at This Job.

I walked into the break room this morning to find a large white bakery box sitting on the center table. There was nothing in the break room but me at a large rectangular white bakery box. It was taped closed in 6 different places so I could not sneak a peek to see what may be in store for me later in the day.
A few people came into the break room to see me dancing around the table like one of those experiments where a scientist introduces a new and foreign object to a group of chimps. I was trying to see how this could be opened, how I could use it to my advantage, if it would have tasty snacks inside.

Until this box is opened I will be hovering around the break room periodically throughout the day to see if it has been opened yet.

And when it finally is?...MWUAHAHAHA!!!


Update! There is a Giant bag full of paper plates and napkins next to the box now.
The day is already looking up!

Universal Truths

UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
        
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of   my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.
        
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
        
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
        
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
        
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
        
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
        
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Google Sets Up Quemoy-Matsu Battle for Cyber WWIII

China Accuses Google of Violating Promises

Google and China are at it again.


A few months ago Google pulled its search engine operations out of China in retaliation to high level cyber hacking that Google claims could only be the work of the Chinese government. The Chinese government claims that it had no involvement in the cyber espionage but did not go so far as to search out the culprits. The Chinese government stated that Google had broken its written contract with the government and had ceased its censorship of certain material on its Chinese search engine.

Now Google is back in China but they have set up shop in Hong Kong which allows for looser control of business and capital. Both sides know what is about to happen next: Google will continue to allow uncensored searches to Google.cn and the Chinese government, or several unnamed hackers, will continue to force its way in and disrupt Google’s operations.

On one side I can’t see how the Chinese government intends to allow even the slightest use of the internet without expecting a flood of citizen organization and sharing of knowledge and ideas. And on the other hand I can’t see how Google would be allowed to operate in the country if it had broken such a sensitive rule in their contract.

People are people and will congregate and organize. And business is business where a breach of contract can lead to serious consequences.
If we start to see large ships anchored off the coast of  Quemoy and Matsu
with the Google logo on the side ya might wanna start stocking up on the canned goods and dig the bomb shelter a bit deeper. We’re in for a long cyber cold war.

Potholes! Potholes Everywhere!!

Man, I'll tell you what.  I'm already tired of these Monday-Friday potholes in this Monday-Friday town!
With all the snow and snow plowing from the storm of the century (of the month) Baltimore streets have been left looking like the surface of the moon. 
Potholes everywhere. 
When we had walls of snow on the streets we had to manuver carefully because the streets were so narrow and side-swiping someone was possible.  Now when we drive we're swerving all over the place because of the crater slolem that we play on our daily commute.  Someone's gonna get smashed by someone else who's trying to dodge the upcoming potholes in the street.

Last week my commute took me up out of Hampden up Roland Ave and it was pretty nasty.  This week I've been deployed to Essex and my eastwardly evacuation is much longer with potholes everywhere. And I mean  er'war!

Ironic?  My only smooth sailing is down Erdman Ave. because it was recently repaved last year.  What used to be one of the worst spots on my drive is now smooth sailing.  But the rest of the way is like playing Moon Patrol. 

Watch out if your driving eastbound on 33rd between Guilford and Barclay.  There's a T-shaped canyon that takes up nearly 2 lanes.  I found that out the hard way.

Where else are you seeing massive pock marks in the city? 

• Clifton Park cut through at 33rd and Harford has always been bad but now it's worse. 
• The Avenue eastbound in Hampden has a deep one right before you get to Cafe Hon.  Ouch.

Hold on to the wheel. folks.  Baltimore's in for a bumpy ride. 
I can just hear the city now.  Throwing a fit come springtime over all the potholes. 
Where's our Fed. disaster relief $$?  Hope we get it in time to dump that cash into those holes.  And why not?  Aren't we just gonna dump it into some black hole anyway?