14 November, 2011

Movember Day 14: Ned Flanders Porn Stach

Man, this month is getting ugly.  At least this is for a good cause because the brostache is starting to take on a life of its own.  I'm not sure just how much longer I will be able to control it.  Not only is it making it harder for me to smooch pretty ladies but it is also making me feel like I want to fix things around the house.  Other times it makes me feel like that cop who pulls you over and searches your car just to be a dick. And to make matters even worse it's coming in ginger!  Who knows what evil it has in store for mankind.
Please help me.  Donate to the Movember mustache fund before it's too late.  
So far my team has raised nearly $1,500 for Livestrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation.  Go team Bohvember!  You too can help out.  Just g'head and click on the link below to make a simple donation today.  Please!  Help me feed the mustache.  I'm not sure how much longer I can control it. 
Mobro-Jamie Schott
Big thanks to those who have already contributed.  Your donation means a lot and if the stache does decide to attack then you will probably be spared.  I can't make any promises though.



09 November, 2011

Support the Stache! Donate to Movember Today

Aw man!  Day 9 and the pedo bear mustache is growing in like like a facial weed. 
Here's a glimpse of Day 6.
Sorry, I have a rare gene that's passed on the x chromosome in my family  that prevents me from taking a normal picture.  I always look like a jackass.  Now I'm a jackass with a snazzy mustache coming in.

So hey!  If you haven't done it yet  please consider making a small donation to the Movember Foundation.  Proceeds benefit  Livestrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation.

The Movember Foundation uses the money raised to fund two programs: an awareness and education program that significantly increases the understanding and reduces the stigmas of the health risks that men face, and Movember’s Global Action Plan that accelerates key outcomes in prostate cancer research by facilitating global research collaboration projects.

Here's how you can support this particular brostache and help me live with the fact that I'm looking more and more like a child molester for every day that I have this porn-stache growing under my schnoz. 
Mobro- Jamie Schott

08 November, 2011

Hon is Free for You and Me!

Hey Hon!  Have ya heard?  Hon is a free word again!  Woopie!  We can say Hon as much as we want and not have to worry about weather or not we're making a mockery of the Hon lady. 
So word on the street is that Gordon Ramsey brought his cameras to Cafe Hon for a PR blitz.  No? He was filming a tv show?  Oh.  Maybe that happened too.  The only time I passed by was late at night and all the windows were blacked out in the cafe and there was what looked like a tv producer's lackey standing out front with a wire in his ear like he was the lookout guy.  Add some black Escalades and you'd think Sheila Dixon was up in there. 
     So what happened?  Was there an episode being made?  Was her kitchen a nightmare?  No, Whiting was the nightmare.  In fact Ramsey went on the praise the loyal staff and only made minor tweaks to the menu and actually admired many of the comfort foods even if they had become a bit stale.
Was this all a PR stunt?  Meh. Probably.  Whatever it was it needed to happen and I, for one, am glad that somebody stepped in to talk some sense into this whole matter.
     Sure, it was easy to hate on Whiting for trademarking our Hon.  And it was easy for her to detract the protesters and naysayers and tell the world that they just don't understand what she is trying to do. She was trying to save Hon but just went about it the wrong way.  It's too bad that she saw a 25% drop in her business over the last year and too bad that she didn't realize sooner that this really does matter to us.  Nobody owns Hon.  Now everybody owns Hon again and we know it. 
     What started out as controversy may end in a stronger and more celebrated Hon. A Hon that we will protect and cherish. I think that is what Whiting wanted all along but her business practices may have sent this in the wrong direction.  
     Ya know, folks.  It takes courage to tell the world that you are sorry and that you are responsible for the problems that have been caused.  It also takes courage to relinquish the vision which you worked so hard to make good and to realize that you were hurting people when all you really wanted to do was help them.
     When Denise Whiting gave up the trademark for Hon she took that courageous step in apologizing to Baltimore and as good people in this fine city when someone apologizes we forgive them.  


07 November, 2011

Movember Day 7: Dear Gawd! It's Fuzzy

Well today started off on the right foot. I was waiting at the bus stop on Eastern and Dundalk Ave. and listening to the local eastbound Raven's fans heckling the westbound Steeler fans at the bus stop.  Lotta people have an extra pep in their step on the day after a win over the Steelers.  I'm sure a few folks in the Pitts have a case of the Mondays today.
But back to matters at hand.  It's Day 7 of Movember and this here brostache is taking shape.  The good the bad and the ugly is all coming together here.
The Good: Raising awareness of men's health issues and raising money to help fight prostate and testicular cancer.
The Bad: I now have to pucker my lips extra tight so that I don't scrape and stache on Opti's kisser.  She's making me smooch her delicately as to not scrape too much manliness on her.  She's still not diggin the whiskers.
The Ugly: Dude. I'm growing a mustache.  'Nuff said.

I know by the end of this I'll have a full Ron Burgundy rockin out right under my nose.

04 November, 2011

Movember: Day 4. She's Not Diggin' the Idea

Movember is underway and the stache is set in motion but there is one thing that I didn't think about in the planning of this: the mustache itself and what Opti will think about it.  Sure it sounded like a fun way to raise awareness in a playful kinda way but when I told her that I'm all in she had one response. NO!!!!!
She hates mustaches and can't even picture me with one.  Everything about a stache is creepy and uncomfortable to her. It's like kissing a caterpillar.  But it's for a good cause.  Manly men grow a mustache in the month of November to raise awareness of men's health issues such as prostate and testicular cancer. This is where she is tortured even more.  She can't just deny me and ask me to shave it because it's for charity.  It's for a good cause.  Consider the cajones. You like testicles, don't you? And a handsome man ass?  "Damn you!" she says.  "It's not fair! I'm gonn have to live with pedo bear for a month".  A mustache does have a certain porn star/child molester creepy feel to it. And herein lies the love/hate duality on Movember.
Ya know, when I went all in on the brostache I didn't realize the many opportunities I would have to taunt and tease Opti. Now she is looking for a support group to help cope with the trauma that a mustache may create in our world.  It's for a good cause though.  Sport the stache for nut sacks and butt cracks. 

03 November, 2011

Sportin' a Brostache For Movember

Ladies and gentleman. Bros and sistas. Movember is now upon us.
"Hey, DB, what's this Movember you speak of?"
I'm glad you asked, random second person.
Movember (a neologism that is a portmanteau of the slang word "mo" for mustache and "November") -Wikipedia
'Er, uh, thanks for nothing wiki-mush-mouth.
Movember is an annual, month-long event involving the growing of mustaches during the month of November. The event was conceived in 1999 by a group of mustached mates in Australia to raise awareness of men's health issues such as prostate and testicular cancer. The event has since scraggled it's way around the world and last year alone the US Movember stached away more than $80M for the cause.
Over here at Daily Breather central we've (I've) thrown our razor down and decided to jump on the stache-coach and ride this manly hair lip into December. DB here is not afraid to sport a flavor saver and if I can grow pubes on my face to raise awareness of cancerous nut sacks then I'm all for it.

And I'm not the only one putting my lip on the line for a donated dime. Check around your community and you may see a few more handlebars and Rollie Fingers lurking in your neighborhood. Head on over to one of my more favorite blogs and see a few posts already whisked up for Movember: The City That Breeds
This is where I first caught onto the idea and it's been growing ever since.
Need more info? Check out US Movember for Movember in the US action.
Hell, if I learn how to use that new fangled smart-ass phone of mine I might even be able to upload a progress report on the stache. There has to be a camera feature on that thing somewhere.